I heard we made out
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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