Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
