awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize