I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
