you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
