I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
