Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
