dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
