I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
