I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
