Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
