it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
