Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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