That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
tell me about the eggs
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
