i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
