Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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