So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
