i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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