Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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