im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize