nut hugger
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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