And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
