can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Randomize
