this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
