wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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