dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
