tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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