I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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