paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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