You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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