So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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