I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Couch. On fire.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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