Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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