so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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