Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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