Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize