You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
