I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
