i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
