This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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