I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
im six kinds of drunk right now
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
