i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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