I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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