fuck your aforementioned shoe
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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