I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
