you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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