big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
