real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
