I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
