I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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