Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
