Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
