we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
