apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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