i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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