he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
