Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
