last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
