STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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