I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I forget how to act sober
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
