Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
my nose is crying tears of wow.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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