I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
