youre lurking in front of me
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
