My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
There's always time for handjobs
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
