Sponge bath it is.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
