Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize