i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize